


i think we're doomed

by nymeriastarks



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, It's 1AM, M/M, Overthinking, Sadness, erik's bad decision making, i haven't even proofread, i just watched Apocalypse for the first time and i had to write about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:23:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6937699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymeriastarks/pseuds/nymeriastarks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>erik overthinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i think we're doomed

**Author's Note:**

> spoilers for xmen apocalypse also this ship makes me want to die  
> title from doomed by bring me the horizon

doomed, i think we’re doomed.

erik lehnsherr. a man you’ve seen on the tv thousands of times, magneto, is broken. he’s the man doomed to lose everyone he loves. condemned to loneliness, he has to see all he has ever cared about slip away like the sand of the cuban beach as he stands there, the iron in his blood boiling with impotence. he’s powerless.  
he’s always been powerless. rendered useless by his own bloodlust and he once again has made the decision he knew he’d regret. he once again has chosen power over love, for power has given his existence a purpose while love is only the weakness that’ll get everyone’s blood all over his hands. again.  
he should’ve gotten rid of the helmet the moment it was given back to him, but it’s still in the chest of his living room. gathering dust. exhaling memories.  
he wishes he could do the same.  
he thinks of his wife. nina frequently visits him too. the things he remembers eat him from the inside out but he forces himself to relive them anyway because it's his fault. his fault. his fault. his fault nina died. his fault his wife is buried next to her. his fault.  
again.  
all over again.  
he sees nina, his world. he sees her walk towards him and he sees himself tell her to go with her mother.  
they're taking him away. she's screaming. the birds are flying around agitated and he understands she's the one behind their discomfort. and he's scared. he's so scared, god. it's happening again. they're pointing their bows at her and they shoot and she's hit and she falls and his wife screams and he runs and the arrow turns into a bullet and he's the one shooting and charles is looking at him with such sadness in his eyes and everything's a disaster and it's all his fault his fault his fa-  
and suddenly he’s young, he's looking through charles’ eyes as he pulls him up from under the salted water of the sea. he sees himself walking away and he wants to scream stay, please don't go, don't ever go. and he does, but it's only a memory. he isn't powerful enough to change the past, and he doesn't think he's ready to face his future. he doesn't think he'll ever be ready.  
does he want to be ready? does he really want to have the possibility to choose, when he knows he'll pick the wrong thing once more? does he really want another opportunity, or does he crave the closeness of someone that'll take the weight of responsibility he's crumbling under off his shoulders? he knows there's only a person that can do that for him. and he won't knock on his door again, won't call, won't even imagine. at least, not for as long as he can help it. he won't become a nina. he won't get hurt because of him, again.  
and then, right then when there's nothing else he can do to avoid his own thoughts and he's about to make another bad decision he knows charles will be there. he'll hear the familiar voice ringing in his head and he'll remember he's not alone, not fully, never will be while he's there.  
he will get lost in the familiar timbre and he won't be alone anymore. it's all so tempting and easy he has to remember the past to help him stay away.


End file.
